Only in America …… do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America ……. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America ….. do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America …… do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America …. do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ….. do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER …
Why….. the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
Why….. women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why….. don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Why….. is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
Why….. is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
Why….. is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why. …. is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why …. is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why….. isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why….. didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why….. do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why….. don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why….. are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal.
GOD CREATED CHILDREN(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students… here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was ‘ DON’T !‘ ‘ Don ‘t what ? ‘ Adam replied. ‘ Don ‘t eat the forbidden fruit.’
God said.
‘Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! ‘
‘ No Way! ‘
‘Yes way!‘
‘Do NOT eat the fruit ! ‘
said God.
‘Why ? ‘
‘Because I am your Father and I said so< I>! ‘
God replied,
wondering why He hadn’t stopped
creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!
‘Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit? ‘
God asked.
‘Uh huh,’ Adam replied.
‘Then why did you ?‘ said the Father.
‘I don’t know,’ said Eve.
‘She started it!‘ Adam said.
‘Did not ! ‘
‘Did too ! ‘
‘DID NOT ! ‘
Having had it with the two of them,
God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it,
don’t be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God’s reward
for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn’t have said
5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own
6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEA DACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
‘TAKE TWO ASPIRIN’
AND ‘KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN’!!!!!
IF THESE NUMBERS ARE ANYWHERE CLOSE TO BEING CORRECT WE ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE..
Just One StateThis is only one State……………If this doesn’t open your eyes nothing will !
From the L. A. Times
1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County ( L. A. County has 10.2 million people)are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal aliens working without a green card.
2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal , whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally
6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
9. 21 radio stations in L. A. are Spanish speaking.
10. In L. A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish.
(There are 10.2 million people in L. A. County. )
(All 10 of the above are from the Los Angeles Times)
Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare.
Over 70% of the United States’ annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida , and New York) results from immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.
We are a bunch of fools for letting this continue
HOW CAN YOU HELP ?
Send copies of this letter to at least two other people. 100 would be even better.
This is only one State……………
If this doesn’t open your eyes nothing will ! and you wonder why Nancy Pelosi wants them to become voters!
